Archive | Wordy humour

Short words. Short sentences.

Love this, by Richard Dowis, author of “The Lost Art of the Great Speech”, shared in Alan Stevens’ newsletter today:

“Short words can make us feel good. They can run and jump and dance and soar high in the clouds. They can kill the chill of a cold night and help keep us cool on a hot day. They fill our hearts with joy, but can bring tears to our eyes as well. Small words of love can move us, charm us, lull us to sleep. Short words give us light and hope and peace and love and health – and a lot more good things. A small word can be as sweet as the taste of a ripe pear, or tart like plum jam.”

It reminded me of this, by Gary Provost, which I also love:

“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important.”

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Jokes for Marketers

Source: Top Rank Marketing

Q: Why couldn’t the marketer sell his baking equipment?
A: He had a leaky funnel.

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite content format?
A: WebinARRR! (Preferably one that’s B2Sea.)

Q: Why can’t the marketer go to see live musicals anymore?
A: He keeps trying to capture the leads.

Q: Why did the marketer get fired as a tap dancer?
A: She wanted to get paid per click.

Q: What kind of marketing does Dracula do?
A: a-COUNT based marketing!

Q: Why did the woman dump her marketer boyfriend?
A: Lack of engagement.

Q: Why did the marketer burn his initials into a leather jacket?
A: He was working on his personal brand.

Q: What do black hat SEOs put in their Thanksgiving turkey?
A: Keyword stuffing!

Q: Knock, knock!
A: Who’s there?
Q: Remarketing!
A: Remarketing, who?

Q: Knock, knock!
A: Who’s there?
Q: Remarketing!

Q: Did you hear about the email marketer who started an ape breeding business?
A: He failed because all he had were MailChimps.

Q: Why did the social media marketer get kicked out of the bowling alley?
A: She kept trying to sponsor the pins!

Q: What do you call a cow with a blog post stamped on its skin?
A: Branded content!

Q: Why should you never get sushi with a marketer?
A: They insist on showing pre-roll ads.

Q: Did you hear about the new tactic where you co-create content with ill celebrities?
A: It’s called influenza marketing. It’s really going viral.

Did you hear about the marketer who imitates celebrities? He’s quite the bargain. He only charges per thousand impressions.

Q: Knock, knock!
A: Who’s there?
Q: A/B testing!
A: A/B testing, who?
Q: Would this joke be funnier if it were about screwing in a light bulb?

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