Schoolchildren Howlers

It was about dusky when I aroused from my slumble
Some people can tell the time by looking at the sun but I have never been able to make out the numbers
Romeo and Juliet tell each other how much they are in love in the baloney scene
Trigonometry is when a lady marries three men at the same time
Iron was discovered because someone smelt it
Parsimony is money left by your father
A barrister is a thing put up in the street to keep the crowds back
The future of ‘I give’ is ‘you take’
A millennium is something like a centennial only it has more legs
If David has one fault it was a slight tendency to adultery
Who was sorry when the Prodigal Son returned? The fatted calf
In Midevil times most of the people were alliterate
Henry the Eighth had an abbess on his knee, which made walking difficult
What was the Age of Pericles? I’m not sure, but I reckon he was about 40
A skeleton is a man with his inside out and his outside off
Algebraical symbols are those used when you don’t know what you are talking about
Name the four season: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
I’m not sure how clouds get formed, but the clouds know how to do it and that’s the important thing
Mandolins are high officials in China

Source: ‘Could Do Better’ by Norman McGreevy

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