Tag Archives | copywriting

Notes on copywriting

You’ve heard that you have to turn features into benefits. That you should write from your customer’s point of view. That you ought to use the word ‘you’ more than you use the word ‘we’. So here’s an example of how it’s done:

Before

Each apartment features a unique layout, designed with ease of living in mind. These luxury apartments offer ample space for everyday living.

After

If you are looking for great accommodation with a light and contemporary layout, designed with ease of living in mind, you’ll find we have an apartment to suit you.

If you want to check your own website, you can use the We We Test.

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Talking of signs

I saw one at a hotel entrance the other day that reads: ‘Smoking is not allowed in this building. If you observe someone smoking, complaints may be made to the management.’

So what’s wrong with that?

Well, what it actually says, is that if someone sees you watching someone smoking, they can make a complaint about you.

Warning. I’m going to talk about grammar now.

The problem is that it mixes passive and active tenses which changes the meaning.

It’s better to use the active tense throughout (and be more specific and simplify the language at the same time) i.e. ‘If you see someone smoking, please tell our staff at Reception.’

It doesn’t tell me where to complain about dodgy sign-writing.

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